Blue Tape : The Savior of Education

Blue tape. An object that needs no explanation or introduction. We've all most certainly heard of blue tape, and I for one, can't function without it's presence in my life every waking moment. Be that as it may, I find myself tortured by the grotesque lack of blue tape on white boards all round my school, Fort Lauderdale High. This is why I was delighted to find out that an ever-so-needed resolution was proposed at a recent staff meeting. One of my instructors brought it to my attention that blue tape (which takes space up on a 3 ft by 6 ft board) will be mandated for teachers in my schools social studies department. Imagine my glee when I found out that my already-budgeted school was spending money on something as necessary as blue tape. I was.... ecstatic to say the least. Just think of all the benefits that blue tape can have on our education. Not only will it give students a reason to focus on a board they seldom use, but it will also give teachers more responsibility (applying and removing the tape whenever necessary). It's not like teachers, especially my social studies teacher whose part of an experimental program, have anything better to do than mark the remainder of their limited space with blue tape.
So, now that you've seen how seriously I take my blue tape, I'm sure you'll understand my reaction to this: not only are department heads telling teachers to use blue tape, but teachers who don't will receive punitive measures!! Oh joy! All the horrible teachers who spend their time teaching classes instead of using blue tape can be fired. I mean, if a teacher doesn't utilize their planning time by pressing blue strips of sticky paper onto their boards, they're obviously undeserving of there jobs. They could even be considered criminals
I applaud the god-send who decided that it was a good idea to require the use of. America's in an educational deficit right now, and the only logical way to approach this monumental problem is with a monumental solution, blue tape. Why are we wasting our time transforming educational paradigms when there is a discerned solution? Programs like STEP-UP couldn't compare to a program like TAPE-UP ( Tape Advancing Paradigms of Education with Unparalleled Perfection).
The bottom line is, blue tape is essential to my success as a high school student dealing with college classes. Putting blue tape in the classroom will finally allow my colleagues and I to finally gain an understanding of sociological study, business interaction, SAT test taking skills, and advanced English comparisons. The necessity of blue tape is unparalleled in the education setting.